Chickens in the Basement

I love to write and I love to laugh. When I write, I get to the point quick. My stories would fit on the back of a postcard. They usually make me chuckle. And you know what they say, "It's all about me!"

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Great Confessor

Since I was little, people have always told me things without me questioning them. My children say it's because I look people in the face and smile which opens the door for everyone to come on in to my space and begin talking. I love hearing what folks have to say!

Today, a man who can completely block all light from entering my office doorway just by planting himself in the entry stopped in to tell me about his morning. He grabbed my hand and said, "See the size of your diamond? Well, I passed a kidney stone the same size this morning. And, the second one was a third of an inch long and thinner."

An octogenarian friend of mine told me she sleeps naked and never gets cold because she has a down comforter. Plus, her husband loves it!

Tonight, I was chatting with Neighbor Terry after our walk. Riley Dog was waiting patiently on his leash as we flapped jaws. As we turned to head home, Neighbor Terry said, "I think Riley just peed on my foot." Droplets did adorn the sidewalk where her foot had just been standing. Riley Dog, it is NOT nice to pee on your friends!

Now, I'm off to see what my friends at GLEE have to say!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Freedom Ride

What would it take to get Riley dog to do this?
Enough puppy treats to put him into a coma!

The USO of North Carolina hosted the Freedom Ride on Saturday. Chewey, the dog in the photo, rode along with his Daddy on the 80 mile ride. Chewey was rescued from the pound. He was the Belle of the Ball in a canine/biker babe sort!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Perks of the Job...

Look who came to the USO of North Carolina RDU Center today!

He is my favorite politico! Wonder what it would take to convince Colin Powell to run for President?

He took time to pose with a couple of star-struck Marines...

before heading off to the RBC Center for a motivational speech.

I love my job!

Duh moment...I forgot to have someone take a picture of me with Colin Powell!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Contribution from Rick

I'm the mother of two boys. Whenever I ask leading questions to get their opinion on a subject, I usually get "Uhmuhmuhm" (the equivalent to "hell if I know") from them. Finally, Rick has a teacher who asks questions that require an opinion or description from him. Since my computer is the only one hooked up to the printer, I get to read his assignments. This one made me laugh!
My Family and My Hair

Everybody in our family has different hair. My brother has long, straight hair, but he thinks it looks best short. His hair is brown, sort of like mine. My dads hair is short and obedient. He doesn't even have to comb it. My mom has somewhat curly hair, and she always spends too long getting it just right. She has to use a curler a lot, but I think it looks fine how it is. Her hair used to be a sort of blonde but it has been a hundred different colors since. It seems to change with the seasons. At the moment, it wants to stay a sort of reddish brown. My hair, well, everyone in my family seems to want to have the same hair as me. It is long, but unlike my brothers hair, it is more curled at the end. My hair, like my brothers hair, is brown, but I think his is darker than mine. Even though we are all different, we are still a family.

I had no idea he ever noticed what color my hair is. After all, I walked around for three months with green hair before a friend's little girl said, "Miss Anna, did you know your hair was green?"
Well, no, I did not!
Her mother was mortified. I wanted to know how long it had been green. My husband informed me it had been green for about 3 months. And, he never told me! Nobody else told me either! What the heck?
It seems when Loreal ash blonde hair color meets Wake Forest well water, it doesn't remain ash blonde! Electric green is the result!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

How Come...

How come Riley Dog turns tail and runs whenever he walks in on me when I'm about to get in the shower? Does he think I have removed my fur? Does he want to leave the room before he gags? Is he laughing?
How come the baggage claim area in RDU Airport smells like somebody peed in every potted plant in the room? Wouldn't it show up on one of the video cameras if someone relieved himself that often in the potted plants? Am I the only person who smells it?
How come I always thought Riley Dog was a yellow dog until I forced him to suffer through a long soapy bath (I let him keep his fur on) and he dried off red?
Just wondering...

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Reindeer Summer Camp

Yesterday afternoon, I looked out my bedroom window and discovered several of Santa's flight crew were grazing in the back yard.
Initially, I thought there were two. Vixen hovered near the woods while the brazen Blitzen was near the house and chowing on my weedy lawn!
We opened the back door quietly and went onto the deck.

He heard us, but wasn't bothered by our presence!

Then, out of my flower bed came this big guy!

Dasher had eaten all of the hydrangeas he could reach and was on to the weeds!

If only the stupid pole to the birdhouse wasn't there, this would have been a fabulous shot!

I know a few hunters who would have loved to see these guys!

When Santa whistled for the crew to return to the sleigh, Vixen beat the boys into the woods.

With a challenge issued by Vixen, Dasher was off!

Blitzen brought up the rear! I'm sure Vixen won this particular reindeer game!
Santa, you owe me a couple of hydrangea bushes!
NOTE: Riley Dog slept peacefully on the porch in the garage while Reindeer Summer Camp was going on in the back yard!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Stink Bug Orgy

Last week, we were headed off to the beach for a couple of days. Before going, I had to make sure The Girls were taken care of. The water tank was nearly empty and had more mosquito larvae floating in it than I cared to have chewing on my naked legs in the weeks to come!

I hauled the tank up to the faucet and filled it to the top. Since I had already dressed for the trip, I didn't want the tank bumping up against my legs on the way back to the chicken house. Not wanting to play the "female card", I got creative and grabbed the grasshopper (my seat on wheels I use when pulling weeds), propped the water tank on top and headed down the hill.

When I stopped to readjust the tank, I saw a group of bugs crawling around on the handle.

On closer look, I realized all the bugs were paired up. Not only were they paired up, they were end to end. I immediately had flashbacks to dogs who somehow got twisted around during the sex act and couldn't get apart. (The boy dog always looks like he's in pain and the girl just looks humiliated!)

Do you think I scared the stink bugs so much when I snatched up the grasshopper and tossed the water tank on top that they spun around and got stuck? I have to wonder!

Admit it! You read the title and couldn't resist reading it! Right?