Chickens in the Basement

I love to write and I love to laugh. When I write, I get to the point quick. My stories would fit on the back of a postcard. They usually make me chuckle. And you know what they say, "It's all about me!"

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Stink Bug Orgy

Last week, we were headed off to the beach for a couple of days. Before going, I had to make sure The Girls were taken care of. The water tank was nearly empty and had more mosquito larvae floating in it than I cared to have chewing on my naked legs in the weeks to come!


I hauled the tank up to the faucet and filled it to the top. Since I had already dressed for the trip, I didn't want the tank bumping up against my legs on the way back to the chicken house. Not wanting to play the "female card", I got creative and grabbed the grasshopper (my seat on wheels I use when pulling weeds), propped the water tank on top and headed down the hill.


When I stopped to readjust the tank, I saw a group of bugs crawling around on the handle.

On closer look, I realized all the bugs were paired up. Not only were they paired up, they were end to end. I immediately had flashbacks to dogs who somehow got twisted around during the sex act and couldn't get apart. (The boy dog always looks like he's in pain and the girl just looks humiliated!)



Do you think I scared the stink bugs so much when I snatched up the grasshopper and tossed the water tank on top that they spun around and got stuck? I have to wonder!

Admit it! You read the title and couldn't resist reading it! Right?

25 comments:

Midcenturymadam said...

You had me at Stink Bug but the orgy part really drew me in. Be careful, you may get red flagged for posting stink bug porn!

Maria Stahl said...

Favorite pickup line of teenaged boy stinkbugs:

"Baby, the world is obviously ending with that giant monster putting us on this trailer thingie, and I have never experienced love. I'd like... I'd like to experience it once before we die."

Linda @ A La Carte said...

I could not imagine where you were going with this but it cracked me up. Sounds like love bugs!

Sharon said...

Guess I am just tired, I just figured you had a stink bug problem. I believe with all that fornicating going on, you are going to be up to your ankles in stink bugs!

Ninny said...

Orgy is right! Girl, you're gonna have a stink bug explosions in the coming weeks!

Jill said...

You are right! I wanted to leave the computer...saw your title, and thought..."what the ____"?????

ted and bunny said...

oh no! Bug Porn on a Monday morning!
xx

Marie Anne said...

Love it! I needed this chuckle on a Monday morning after my own escapade.

val said...

kinky sex games...or in this case, STINKY sex games! HA! funny post...

dobco said...

You crack me up! Just what you need....lots more stink bugs.

Jenny S said...

You crack me up every time! Have you checked out the pictures of Henry yet?? HE'S HERE!!

LemonyRenee' said...

You're supposed to kill those buggers when you see them. They are not native to here and they have no natural predator. They are poised to take over the world!

I totally would have played the "girl card." ;)

Little Messy Missy said...

Hahahaha...yes I have a dirty mind!

Maggie B said...

The title made me curious and now I'm just confused.
What's a stink bug?? Care to enlighten this ignorant Brit?
Maggie

Eartha Kitsch said...

I'll admit it! I got sucked in by the title but am now completely fascinated by the photos.

Nekkid Chicken said...

LOL I think you are crazy. Then again I favor crazy over mundane. Take care,
Mal

red.neck chic said...

LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm laughing tooooo hard to leave a coherent comment - i'll be back...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

;-D robelyn

Vintage Christine said...

Two times a year we get invaded by the f**kbugs who fly around like that for several weeks when they're not turning your windshield into Squashed Bug City. Yuck to insect porn!!!

Stacey said...

Ewww... gross! On so many levels:) By the way, the comments are hilarious!

Lori Lynn said...

What a funny lady you are!Stink bugs REALLY stink, don't they???

I'm back on-line after an unforgivable several months.Changed my blog name, but I'm still the same ol' LLyn M! Come see the new digs!

Zootsuitmama said...

Those bugs are multiplying so they can all trek up to Missouri and attack my squash! Zootsuitmama

Julie (Legacy Crafter) said...

Hope your beach excursion turned out nicely after all the bug stuff going on! You are one silly lady, love your spirit. God Bless

Chicken Boys said...

Hope you're okay. If you're gonna quit blogging, you gotta leave us with an encore...something a little better than a stink bug orgy! LOL
My word is mantasm....what's a mantasm? LOL
~Randy

Hesta Nesta said...

I laughed out loud (very loud). Love the post!!
Jo xx

Susan from The T-Cozy said...

Ick....those bugs are creepy. I wonder if they're monogamous.