The first I heard of The Bradley Curse was when my husband took on a boat my dad used to own. I've heard that a boat is a pit in the water in which you throw money. That was more than an accurate description of this boat. And being rather mechanically minded, Tony was completely frustrated when the boat refused to be healed!
Today, I heard my second reference to the Bradley Curse...the female version. My cousin Marcus finally got married. This gave my other cousin, Michelle, and I time to catch up. I think we wound up discussing The Curse by way of "what sports do your kids play?" Somehow, this lead to confessions of not wearing shorts anymore because they tend to hike up between my fat thighs, so weather I'm coming or going, my shorts are doing an inverted V. Capris are good because your knee fat keeps them from hiking up in the crotch!
We are the ultimate Pears! Above the waist, we look normal. Below the waist...Whoa, Mama!! Baby Got Back and I Like Big Butts were written for us! We can track The Bradley Curse through several generations, including our current young ones. Fortunately, when we were younger, we were much smaller pears. But to my nieces and girl-cousins-twice-removed, my ass is your future!
I even confessed...if I could have liposuction on any part of my body, I would have my inner thighs sucked out. Wouldn't it be wonderful to walk in pantyhose without worry of starting a friction fire. Corduroys just aren't an option. Way too loud!
Congrats Marcus and Monica! I hope you have boys!
Get creating!
1 day ago
1 comment:
Hi! I love your blog--it's hilarious!! It's so nice to find a blog where people are writing for the fun of it instead of trying to sell something, and your decision to take on writing full-time is spot-on. I also believe that you and I were "separated at birth" since I, too, have been cursed with thunder thighs & Buddha Butt. Remember, "when she back up, she go 'beeeep beeeep beeeep'"? Hilarious, but sadly descriptive.
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