Chickens in the Basement

I love to write and I love to laugh. When I write, I get to the point quick. My stories would fit on the back of a postcard. They usually make me chuckle. And you know what they say, "It's all about me!"

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

How Rude!

I'm a southern girl, born and bred! The rule for southern girls is simple.

Never be rude!

Don't get me wrong, it does not mean you can't be a smart ass. There is a difference. A smart ass is funny, sarcastic, states the obvious. Rude is just mean.

HUGE azaleas in my Mom's yard.

Well, today, I crossed the line. I didn't mean to say it and didn't even know I was going to be rude until the words were out of my mouth. I immediately slapped my hand over my mouth and tried to take them back.

More of that pretty lavender!

I was on my way to Nashville to visit my Mom. With less than a quarter of a tank of gas, I figured I better hit the last station before driving into the country. I pulled up to the pump, whipped out my credit card and studied the scanner. No pictures of how to swipe the card. I flipped the card in every direction, but couldn't get the stupid computer to accept it.

The man at the pump next to me offered to help, but couldn't remember how he had run his card through. I had no choice but to go to the lady in the box and ask her to run my card. I asked if she could hold my card until after I pumped and then run it so I could fill my tank.

An arrangement for the porch!

She said,"I can't do that. You have to give me a specific amount." Hmmmm! Not the answer I wanted to hear.

"Okay," I said, feeling rather frustrated, "then how much is the middle grade of gas?"

"I don't know," she said, looking at me rather impatiently.

That's when it happened. My mouth opened and some rude stranger inside of me said, "Well, you aren't very helpful, are you?"

Ladyslipper orchids multiply like crazy in her yard!

How I managed to tell her to put $50 on the card and sign it, I'll never know. The heat of embarrassment coming off of my face was hot enough to blow the place sky high!

Am I the only one that thinks this looks like a scrotum?

To the lady in the glass box in the Lowe's Grocery Gas Station on the Highway 98 By-Pass in Wake Forest, I am soooo sorry! I promise I will never come back!

NOTE: I tried to soften my bad behavior with pretty photos from my Mom's house!


Keetha Denise Broyles said...

I see scrotum too - - - flowers ARE the reproductive organs of plants after all!

Jenny S said...

hahaha! I love your smart ass comments. You were telling the truth though!

Linda said...

Bad Girl! Good thing you had lovely photos of beautiful flowers to soften the blow of finding out you are rude! Well just this one time and she deserved it!

1950's_atomic_ranch_house said...

omg... TESTIES!! Hee hee...

I used to be oh so polite, beyond polite.

But in my old age I started to talk back to folks who bump me in the store when they don't say "excuse me" or those who don't thank me if I hold a door open for them (some younger gals seem to think they are entitled because I don't look like a doorman).

So I will say:

"Excuse you!" or "You are welcome!" and it makes me feel like a real rebel lol...

Getting older means we have earned the right to do a little back talk ha ha.

Don't give it a second thought. ;)

Chickens in the Basement said...

You know, I forgot to tell ya'll, the woman was an older lady. I was rude to an older lady. I'm such a bad girl!

Anonymous said...

Oh, beans! Where is that dadgum kleenex?!! Tears are rolling down my cheeks from laughing hysterically!

You need an award so I hereby give you the Okie Harr-Harr-Harr Clem Kadiddlehopper award for a wonderful post!


Chickens in the Basement said...

Do I have to say that one out loud? Thanks Liz!

Jill said...

Ahhhh!!! Rats. I was going to give you the Okie Harr-Harr-Harr Clem Kadiddlehopper award and someone beat me to it! (Yes, it DOES look like a scrotum)

Vintage Christine said...

And I on the other hand I think you are a total bitch and will be going to hell In real life--she'll get over it, and you said what needed to be said. Them fleurs shore are purty. Please excuse moi--I'm celebrating my birfday alone tonight--well, not alone--it's just me and a bottle of celebratory vino. Woo hoo! Bring on the dancing boys!!

Mick said...

Ah! You forgot the #1 grace giving phrase... Im not sure if its the same for your part of the south, but here If you hear a Man, Woman or Child say "Well bless your heart..." you know a rude/ degrating/ overstatment is SURE TO FOLLOW! Example "Oh she had another kid? Well bless her heart... to bad she cant keep her legs together" (OK THATS AN EXTREME!) your more likly to hear "Timmy you cant tell me what 2+4 is? Well Bless you heart... maybe if you didnt watch tv and play x box 16 hours of the day you could tell me its 6..." I do like how you held 2 conversations at once in this post, the true markings of a Southern Lady, So fret and sweat not over being rude, bless your heart... your only human ;)

Midcenturymadam said...

I still like you! (and your flowers that look like scrotums.)

Zootsuitmama said...

Well, only good people feel bad or guilty when they slip up! So you are a good person. Anyway, I cannot stand it when someone in a store says "I don't know". How about, I'll find out? And I vaguely remember what a scrotum looks like, but the last one I saw definitely wasn't that color! Zootsuitmama

dirtyduck said...

she wasnt helpful and she is supposed to be,lol i dont know what i would have done, but thats a stupid answer from the girl at the station, like...thats your job!!

Pixie said...

well, you were only rude if she was helpful and polite to begion with, but she was not. By her not giving a damn about customer service, she opened herself up for your comment. Terefore, you are justified and I absolve you of your guilt. There. Feel better?

On a side note, I wqas VERY rude at the grocery store last night when they didn't have any chilis and the produce guy was standing right there, in front of where they should be, chatting away to some of his mates. He completely ignored my ditress at the store yet again not having the basic ingredients for a proper meal. When I saw the guy just a bit later, I gave him the death stare and he refused to make eye! He probably went home and told his family that some crazy american lady told him off. Serves him right. Life is a two-way street. You get what you give.

Rose H (UK) said...

I don't think you were rude at all - just stating the facts!

gin said...

ok, so you had a bad moment, but I bet it made you feel better!! Thanks for stopping by on my rose post. It blooms all year long, I even have pink roses at Christmas. But this week is the prettiest it has every been.

LemonyRenee' said...

You are hysterical! I laughed so hard during this post.

~ beautiful flowers, btw

And I kept waiting for the rudeness for which you are so ashamed. Seems I missed it -- I don't think that was so bad, it was certainly the truth.

~ very pretty flowers

And then I come to the scrotum comment and realize you were just being sassy through and through.

Chicken Boys said...

LOL! ROFL! LMAO! All of the above! That scrotum is a bit red. I saw a ladyslipper growing in the wild when I was a kid. Did research, and they are rare or endangered or something in the wild. Sometimes, though, you HAVE to counteract stupidity with rudeness. How can you work at a gas station and not know how much the product you are selling costs? Really?!

Breezy said...

This post made me laugh-- I don't think you were rude, you just have a firm grasp of the obvious!!

Barbara said...

That's it? Hell, that's a NICE comment in an average day for me! You have to live in California, land of the rude, to understand. I do the same as 1950s atomic ranch - "excuse you", "you are welcome", etc. to other people.

So buck up buckaroo, you're no bad angel!!

Missy AKA Little Messy Missy said...

Hahahaha! I can't respond any other way! Those lady slippers are amazing...I wonder if they would grow here?

Anonymous said...

Oh you are too funny. Sometimes the stupid part of our brain just takes just last week for me. I do not swear on a whole. The podiatist was giving me a cortizone injection and I thought he was going through my foot...and I said Oh Sh**! I was embarrassed but I am sure he has heard worse with those shots!

galleywench said...

You have me in stitches!

I've heard of "blue" ones, but never "purple"!

Amber Von Felts said...

I had a similar indecent years ago, couldn't get the damn pump to work, it took about 5 min of hassling with the guy behind the counter to get some help. After he unsuccessfully tried to help me by pushing some hidden buttons behind the counter, I came back in and asked for "someone to assist me" he was pissed that I couldn't figure it out on my own.... He retorted with "Well I am the assistant manager" all snotty. I said "oh yea, well then do your F*ckin job!" Finally he discovered that that they were out of the regular gas completely, that's why it wouldn't pump. It was one of those moment where you actually say what you mean and at the right moment, not an hour later to your self. HAHAH! I don't regret it one bit!