For future reference, don't collect eggs from the hen house, put them in the same pocket of your skinny jeans (read TIGHT PANTS) as your cell phone and forget about it. One innocent squat to pull one stupid weed and communication with the outside world is gone...so is your breakfast!
Further, once you wipe the egg from your phone onto your shirt (forget about what is left in your pocket), go inside and take a shower immediately. Continuing to pull weeds in the cemetery while smelling like bad scrambled eggs brings weird bugs to check you out. Add a little sweat and the dog even thinks you smell bad!
3 hours ago