Chickens in the Basement

I love to write and I love to laugh. When I write, I get to the point quick. My stories would fit on the back of a postcard. They usually make me chuckle. And you know what they say, "It's all about me!"

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

What was I Thinking?

A couple of days ago, I was sitting at my make-up mirror examining my face. Obviously, I don’t do this very often or often enough because my eyebrows looked like woolly worms. I rounded up my tweezers and a small mirror to hold close to my face and began plucking the obvious offenders…the ones that had crept below the crease in my eyelid, the ones near my hairline, the ones reaching for ear-hairs. Once the big ones were out, I went for the ones that were just starting to come in, you know, those little ones that require you to take a chunk of skin in order to remove them.

Rick came in to brush his teeth and we talked some, brushed some and plucked some. Those long eyebrow hairs that I can’t see on myself but the tweezers pull them several inches from my face before they bring tears to my eyes and let go of my skin.

Will came in to do his daily toilette. More brushing, chatting, and plucking. Feeling as though I had plucked enough, I put my supplies away and looked into my large make-up mirror. What was left of my eyebrows shot up under my bangs. What the hell have I done?

Above each eye stood a puff of hair equivalent to a Hitler mustache. Should I thin these out? Should I call the Eyebrow Store (yes, there is one at the mall!)? Maybe I should just leave them alone. I grabbed my eyeliner pencil and tried to draw in some of the hairs I had just removed. One sloped towards my ear while the other aimed at my widow’s peak. I looked like I should be in a Special Ed Class.

I wiped it all off, put my regular make-up on and went to Wally World to sooth myself with some retail therapy. I could tell when someone had real eye contact with me because their eyes would grow large, then, their eyebrows would disappear under their bangs.

When was the last time I plucked my eyebrows? Will they be back by Christmas? Maybe I’ll ask for eyebrow Rogaine for my birthday! No photographs, please!

PS Don't believe there is an eyebrow store? Its called BrowZnAround Eyebrow Studio and is located in the Triangle Town Center. Park near Belks. Their phone number is (919) 449-2447. I'll be throwing away my tweezers and programming their number in my cell phone!


Em said...

All that and no photos? C'mon!!!

Em said...

My Aunt has been having trouble with her eyebrows lately, and decided to just get them tattooed on.... she said it didn't hurt - it kindof tickled... and now she's got them right where she wants them and knows where to tweeze if she needs to. Her major problem was that hers were so light and practically dissapearing.

Chickens in the Basement said...

Funny! I wonder if they make temporary tatoos to use until they grow back. I could stick them on every morning!