Chickens in the Basement

I love to write and I love to laugh. When I write, I get to the point quick. My stories would fit on the back of a postcard. They usually make me chuckle. And you know what they say, "It's all about me!"

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Boob Smash: The Sequel

Last week, I got a call-back letter from my mammogram. One of the films wasn't clear enough. Of course, they didn't tell me that in the letter which scared the crap out of me! Anyway, I went back for a second boob-smash, but just on the left side. I swear, the Torture Technician had me on my tip-toes one time! After four massive squishes, a doctor behind several closed doors looked at the films and saw no problems. He sent Ms. Torture Tech back to tell me all was well and see you next year. I scooped my left boob off my kneecap, tucked it in my bra and pulled all of my layers back on.

I had told Will I would give him a call when I was headed home. Here's how the conversation went...

Me: Hey Sweetie, I'm headed home.

Will: Okay, where you been?

Me: I had a boob-smash appointment.

Will: silence...more silence...

Me: Will? Anymore questions?

Will: Rick, Mom wants to talk to you!

Rick: Will says to ask you where you've been.

Me: I had my boob smashed.

Rick: Aw! I just woke up.

Tonight, I asked Will to tell Tony where I had been today. Will left the room. I can't wait to have my next pap smear so I can torture him with the details of that!


Linda said...

I had a recall one time and of course they don't tell you it's a bad film. Glad all is OK!

Jill said...

Your poor kids!!

LemonyRenee' said...

LOL! I'm glad you are okay. They really, really need to be more calming and communicative with women, don't you think?

Chicken Boys said...

You are one twisted lady! There was something else I was gonna tell you, but I can't think of it right now. Glad you had a good squishy.

Queenie Jeannie said...


Well, I'm glad you're ok!!

red.neck chic said...

ROFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only you!!! I'm glad all smashing was a success!!! Don't you just love LOVE warping the minds of the male species?!!?

;-) robelyn

Missy AKA Little Messy Missy said...

Hahahahah- I am glad everything is fine!

Barbara said...

I got one of those calls once, but they wouldn't say that the pictures were bad, just that they needed to "look closer". Turned out to be nothing, but I had two days of "oh my god, I'm dying" thoughts.

Vintage Christine said...

Now Anna, didn't I tell you to get that little pad? Or don't they offer it? I'm not kidding, it makes a HUGE difference. My knees used to buckle from the pain (thank god I'm tall or I'd have been dangling there by one squashed boob)--now after it's over I feel like hugging the technician. My boob smash went without a hitch recently and I'm so sorry to hear about your re-smoosh. Glad that all is well in boobieland, though. Your kids were thinking TMI TMI TMI big time!!!

one gal's trash said...

There is no bigger challenge than trying to get your gynecologist to laugh. Just before I had a hyterectomy, I said to my doctor..."So, after it's gone, I'll be thinner about 40pounds?" He didn't even crack a smile. Thanks for linking to me on your sidebar. I am worried that 500 followers by March 1 may have been a bit ambitious.

bad penny said...

Oh I do love making the kids squeal with embarrassment !

Glad all was Ok - I've not had the dreaded thing yet ! At least I don't need smears anymore
( hystarectomy )

*Ulrike* said...

I've been called back before too. Bummer. Does your place not use the new digital one? It saves the hassle of bad film. When hubby complains of going to the doctor I remind him of all the things we women go through at the doctor. Men, they got that part easy!!

Louisiana Momma said...

I can always count on you giving me a laugh.. the only thing that wouldve made it better was to see the look on their faces when you said that to them :-)

Anonymous said...

Hehe! Funny story. And glad all was ok. x

Mary said...

Pick me up off the carpet - I'm laughing so hard!!!

Glad all is OK dear, you are precious.