Fred and the Girls
Chickens are shipped through the US Mail on the day they are born. The mailman won’t deliver baby chicks to your house. Chickens can jump up and pluck a lightning bug out of the air. Chickens can chase squirrels away from bird feeders. Chickens cannot peck red nails off your toes. Chickens can sit for 3 ½ weeks on a pile of eggs. Chickens aren’t happy when you make them get off of their nest.
Shakira, the good mother
Chickens are very protective of their babies. A hen can carry an egg in her beak (I’ve seen it)! Roosters sound like adolescent boys when they first crow. White chickens are seen easier by predators. Chickens cannot out-fox a fox.
Fred vs. Fox
Chickens will teach your dog to BACK OFF. Chickens will follow you around the yard and inspect every weed you pull. Chickens will follow you to your rose bed, but they will not eat the Japanese beetles you had planned for them to devour. However, if you put the beetles in a cup of diet Coke, and pour it on the ground in front of them, the chickens will pull up to the buffet. Chickens will perch on porch railings, window sills, tree branches, truck tailgates, and bird baths. Nine fairly large chicks can fit under one fairly small hen. Dangly things on roosters’ heads are warm. All hens are NOT maternal.
Not the baby's
Chickens cannot remove diamonds from your ring (yet). Chickens can eat rocks. Chickens are not afraid of water. A hen stops being maternal when nine heads appear in the whole she just dug, and eat all the grubs inside.
Chickens know how to aerate the lawn. Chickens know how to relocate the mulch you spent hours spreading. Chickens don’t like lawn mowers. Young chicks moving quickly remind dogs of squeaky toys. Dogs don’t like feathers in their mouths. Chickens will wait for you to put them to bed at night. Roosters will wake you up very early in the morning regardless of what day it is. Blackout shades on windows of the henhouse don’t keep roosters from crowing at 5 am. Chickens will eat corn from your hand and sit in your lap. Chickens will poop on your lap.
Booger the chick