Chickens in the Basement

I love to write and I love to laugh. When I write, I get to the point quick. My stories would fit on the back of a postcard. They usually make me chuckle. And you know what they say, "It's all about me!"

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Public Toilets...GAG!!

This morning, we were up early headed to Fayetteville for our first indoor sky diving experience. Since we managed to get out of the house with plenty of time to spare, we decided to "dine in" at Bojangles. They have the best fast food biscuits in town!

A country ham biscuit, bo-rounds and half a cinnamon twist, and I was happy!

Knowing we would be in the car for the next 2 hours, I decided to visit the facilities. One stall was closed, so I took the other. After pressing the flush lever three times, the pee and paper from the previous visitor finally left.

I got down to my business just in time for my neighbor to make a sound like she was hocking a loogey. Then she gagged. This was just the beginning of her soliloquy. All kinds of nasty sounds came from next door. My mouth started running water faster than I could pee! Dear Jesus, get me out of here without letting me see my ham biscuit and bo-rounds in liquid form!

With heaving sounds still coming from my neighbor and me silent-gagging, I quickly hauled up my pants, did a half-assed job of buckling my belt and ran for the door. Forget washing my hands and checking my lipstick!!! I made it to the car and opened the door where I had to untwist my belt, make sure I was zipped up and found a bottle of Purell. It did nothing to make me feel cleaner!

Since I survived that, surely I can survive a minute in an air tunnel. Right?

1 comment:

Kate Spike and Her KatS said...

ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!! I would have done the same thing, although I think I'm more of a "sympathy puker" than you are. I watched a rediculous show yesterday on the IFC channel and nearly the entire show was about puking and sympathy puking!!! It was disgusting but I couldn't stop watching (fake puke, I think . . .). Did your mother teach you how to "hover" in public toilets? God bless her soul, mine was still "hovering" in the doctor's office bathroom 2 weeks before she passed!