Chickens in the Basement

I love to write and I love to laugh. When I write, I get to the point quick. My stories would fit on the back of a postcard. They usually make me chuckle. And you know what they say, "It's all about me!"

Friday, March 5, 2010

Funny Story

This morning, I was talking to my Dad about jobs, me going back to work, what I want to be when I grow up, etc. He knows I love to write. I told him about an idea I had to put an ad on craigslist. The ad would go something like this...

Got a funny story, a sad tale, a miracle to share?
Mom was a madam. Dad was a bootlegger.
I was an ace pilot in World War II.
Need to confess or apologize?
Got photos to support your story?
Tell me your story and let me write it down.
Pass it on to your family. Submit it to your local newspaper.
Send it to your college alma mater.
Keep it for posterity.

Me and Dad at the beach in 1968.

So, after we talked about this, my Dad said, "I have a funny story to tell you." Que the swirly music that indicates a flashback!
In the '70s, it seems all the men in Nashville, North Carolina were Washington Redskins fans. Every season, a bus would be chartered from Nashville to Washington, DC so all these guys could attend a football game. This was the premise of the escape. In actuality, they spent a weekend away from home, and the drinking began the moment they stepped foot on the bus.
I suppose most of the guys really went to the game. I'm not sure how many first-hand details they could share upon returning home. But with a hotel in Georgetown, they had easy access to all of the bars in the area.
On one of these weekends, the game was over, small groups of men spread out to various drinking establishments and the goal of drunkenness was on. Dad had taken in all he could and was ready for bed. He bid his fellow-drinkers farewell and began his walk back to the hotel.
Being the polite southerner that he is, he smiled and said hello to a man he passed on the street. Then, he heard footsteps behind him. The man he had passed had turned around and was catching up with him. Why this didn't scare the hell out of Dad, I don't know! Turns out, the man was a little on the effeminate side. He walked Dad back to his hotel, chatting amiably, and possibly affectionately, along the way. When Dad got back to his hotel, the guy followed him inside. Being a straight man, Dad didn't particularly want a gay man following him to his room.

Mom and Dad...before the divorce!

So, what's an intoxicated, hetero, southern man to do? Southern manners won't allow him to tell the guy to "get lost." Drunk, yes, but not so much that he forgot about his wife back home and no desire for a man to man tryst. Yes! Introduce him to the only other man you know in the lobby and make a quick escape to your room, alone! Poor Mike had the bad luck to be tagged by my Dad as Effeminate Man's new best friend. I wonder if Dad and Mike are still friends?

NOTE: The divorce had nothing to do with effeminate men!


Lisa said...

Funny! I am sorry about the divorce. Glad your dad thought quick!
Hugs, Lisa

Chickens in the Basement said...

Hope Mike was a fast thinker, too. Dad wasn't sure how the story ended for him!

Linda said...

Very funny story. Can you just see your Dad talking to this guy because he is being polite. Poor Mike!

Mick said...

Haha fast thinking on dads part!

Vintage Christine said...

Ah, your parents looked so sweet in their wedding photo (and cute, too!). I'm surprised Effeminate Man was being Aggressive Effeminate Man since that kind of action would usually get rewarded with an ass-kicking in our neck of the woods. I'm so glad to see some of my favorite bloggettes writing about their parents--I'm having alot of fun doing it and my niece is just beside herself seeing all the family history. Hopefully someone will be able to show Dad yesterday's post--I told him about it and we had a nice talk about old times, plus he remembered a few things I'd forgotten! He has an incredibly sharp mind for being nearly 84!

dobco said...

Too funny! I love funny stories. My Dad could tell funny stories. I sure do miss him. Enjoy yours every moment you can. I love your'd be great at it.

Queenie Jeannie said...

I hope you get lots of business with your ad!! Good luck!

Keetha Broyles said...

I just gave you AND your chickens a little "no strings attached' shout out over at my blog - - -

Kim Sue said...

came by way of Keetha stuff 'n are a fabulous story teller {maybe you get it from your dad}!

Mary said...

Great story - memories of when I lived 'almost' in Georgetown in the '60's.....I was a few blocks over in the lower rent district!!!

Yeah, you should be writing more!!

Amber Von Felts said...

Who knows maybe the two hit it off? Maybe your dad was a matchmaker. YOW!