Chickens in the Basement

I love to write and I love to laugh. When I write, I get to the point quick. My stories would fit on the back of a postcard. They usually make me chuckle. And you know what they say, "It's all about me!"

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

When I Grow Up

Today, I'm working on my resume. Yes, my boys are old enough for me to go back to work and make a contribution to the family instead of being the plughole that sends our income spiraling out to various credit card companies every month! The theory is...if I am at work all day, how can I spend money. I'm sure I'll figure a way around this one! Even more important, with two kids headed to college in two and four years, we are going to need more income!

So here's my quandary. How do I make my life as a Mom sound like a real job? I know you other mother's out there know what I mean. My husband and I made the choice for me to stay home with our guys and I have loved almost every minute of it. But something tells me a future employer might not find my list of duties as applicable to their job...

* getting the kids to school on time, (time management)
* made sure they brushed their teeth and combed there hair every weekday (no guarantee on weekends),
(maintenance supervisor)
* fixed breakfast and dinner and sometimes lunch for the family,
(short order cook)
* tackled a mountain of laundry twice a week,
(laundromat operator)
* supervised room clean-up at least once a month,
(janitorial supervisor)
* walked the dog, (dog walker)
* fed the chickens, (avian specialist)
* paid the bills,
(finance agent)
* planted the garden,
(master gardener)
* regularly visited the pediatrician and dentist,
(taxi driver)
* volunteered in classrooms,
(teacher's aide)
* walked in the woods to collect sticks, leaves, feathers, dead stuff, etc.,
(nature observer)
* been the homework enforcer, (whip cracker)

So, keep your fingers crossed for me. Jobs are few and far between. Finding a job that pays more than minimum wage are almost non-existent. Let's not even think about all those cute, young college grads ready to snatch any professional job right out from under my old lady ass!

You see what I'm doing instead of working on my resume! But I like doing this. Okay, I'm off to get this done! Send good, creative, big-word karma in my direction! Lord knows I need it!

NOTE: No photos accompany this post because my resume exists only in my head!

As of 1:30 pm, I've been to Southern States, purchased plants for my garden, filled up bird feeders, organized some medical reports for a new insurance company, eaten lunch, sat in the sun, and played with the chickens. Resume still unwritten! Where is that whip-cracker when you need her?

20 comments:

LemonyRenee' said...

Anna, good luck. I will be right where you are in a few years, maybe sooner. Ack. If only women like us WERE viewed (somewhat) how you describe instead of magazine reading, telephone talking, shopping mavens . . . if only.

Chicken Boys said...

Whip Cracker? We need one of those here. I like our manager here, but he doesn't have the cohones to make people do what they are supposed to do. I get stuck with jobs that aren't mine cause the people who are supposed to do them bitch too much. So, he dumps them on me cause he knows I'll get them done. Not me! I'd say do it, or I'll find someone who will! Good luck!
~Randy

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

There are jobs under your butt?

1950's_atomic_ranch_house said...

Good luck!

A positive attitude (at least in public lol) goes a long way. =)

Barbara said...

Good luck!

It's hard out there, which is why I stay where I am right now. In 2008, I was unemployed six months and almost lost my house. I never had a problem getting a job, and now so many people are out there you can't even get a call back!

I hope it's easier where you live!!
___
Barbara
http://ifididnthaveasenseofhumor.blogspot.com

dirtyduck said...

theres a place for you

Rose H (UK) said...

Aha! Like me you are a Domestic Engineer......

I prefered option 2 for the door, very cottage like - or how about a stable door?

dirtyduck said...

right now im looking for a pet sitter, and the peson i would trust is somebody that is older than a "college kid" i AM looking for somebody that has experience. im sure there are people in your area that would want the same thing. do people live very spread out in your area? that could be problem. you obviously love animals......

Keetha Broyles said...

Well, whether they call it a "real job" or not, it certainly IS one.

Ninny said...

Sometimes age is a bonus! You come with a lot of life experience. You can be just as eager as a kid fresh out of college and just as energetic. When I graduated from college at age 41 (yes!) I was hired right away to teach because of my age! So, depending on the field you are looking to enter, your resume should reflect your experience and qualifications for the desired position you are applying for. Keep that in mind and good luck! (Also, beat the crowds for summer jobs and college grads by getting it done now.) Hugs, Liz

Jenny S said...

I know this antique shop that needs some part time help every day from 2 to 5:30 if you are interested!

Queenie Jeannie said...

LOL!! Good luck honey!!

Dr. Phil, among others, have said that a stay at home Mom is working the equivalent of TWO FULL TIME JOBS!!! And if you had to pay her, it would be six digits, easily!!! Don't underestimate yourself!

Missy AKA Little Messy Missy said...

You left out so many jobs... sex education teacher, warden, night shift control officer, mediator, transportation coordinator... boy I could go on forever. My only advise is to drag your feet when it comes to finding a job because as past experiences taught me (and I also have 2 teenagers) that when I work outside the home I end up having 2 full times jobs and neither of them pay enough and when mommy ain't happy ain't nobody happy! Good luck!

Linda said...

Good Luck with the job search, wait you aren't even that far yet are you? LOL...well I'm still looking and it ain't pretty out there. I'm too old and they can get young, fresh and perky instead of my mean ole menopausal self. Aw life.

Anne - Fiona and Twig said...

Even though I work outside the home, I know full well that what you do is backbreaking work, too! You have nothing but respect from me, girl! :-)

Anne

Anne - Fiona and Twig said...

Even though I work outside the home, I know full well that what you do is backbreaking work, too! You have nothing but respect from me, girl! :-)

Anne

bad penny said...

very well qualified I'd say ! Good luck. Great list.
I'm a stay at home mum too - but mine are teenagers - I should get a job but I don't know what to do !

Jill said...

You forgot to add:
witty, friendly, blatantly frank, writer, quippy, and all around funny gal!!!

Mary said...

Please, please at least go back to the shop for a while per Jenny - that way I would know where to find you!!

I left some more 'chicken pages' from UK Country Living at the shop yesterday - Jenny put them up and said you'd be by soon. I took my SIL from AZ to visit - we didn't want to go to the bar with the guys for green beer after the parade yesterday!! She loved SuzAnna's and is planning to bring another suitcase next visit! My BIL almost hit me up the side of the head when he heard that - thinks I'm corrupting his Mary (yes, she's also Mary Sullivan - and we love it when we get together which isn't often enough).

See ya soon!

Yarni Gras! said...

you forgot journalist for your blog! ha!!!